What is a Real Singer, Anyway?

“We were exploring, creating, manifesting and becoming! This is how we learn. What makes us think we shouldn’t do this in more empowering ways as adults?”

Do you remember when you were little and you looked up to an adult or older person, and thought, “I want to be like that!” Then you imagined what it would be like to be that person. You may have even acted it out with your friends or by yourself in front of the mirror! Didn’t we all play “doctor & nurse” when we were little, or other games where we became our favorite roles of interest? When we were children, did we say, “I am not a doctor, and I do not have a degree, so I must pretend” or “I am too little and I will fail!” No! We just became a doctor and embodied the idea of one as best as we could comprehend in that moment. We were little and we knew we’d get bigger some day. We imagined what we wanted to become, and were completely present as we committed to our own magical world. We were exploring, creating, manifesting and becoming! This is how we learn. What makes us think we shouldn’t do this in more empowering ways as adults?

How did we lose this ability to just completely surrender, and fearlessly “become” whatever we wanted at any given moment? Somehow, over time, with school and grades and competition, we learned that there are levels, and some are “better” than others. We learned to judge others and ourselves, and our value, oftentimes was based on a letter in the alphabet. Eventually, most of us stopped playing those games we played as a kid, and learned to “get in the real world” and prove ourselves. Soon the world became a much more serious place and there were expectations and more important roles placed on us. We learned over time, to put more pressure on ourselves.... I think you see where I’m going with this.


SINGER OR NOT A SINGER?

I get calls all of time from people who initially tell me, “I’m not a singer” or “I am a Singer,” and once they believe they’ve finally earned that yearned for title, they continue the same dis-empowering behavior by creating endless levels for themselves within the realm of “singer.” It never ceases to amaze me how we continue the same patterns of always trying to be somewhere, instead of enjoying where we are, now.

A student who recently told me he does not yet feel comfortable with the title of “singer,” had a very logical definition of what a singer is when I asked him. He said: “Someone who is admired, has a magnetic personally, is able to express their emotions musically with feeling, someone who is a story teller, someone who is skillful with words, someone who can make music with their voice... I’m not there yet, because my voice is not exactly the way I want it to be... to the level that I would like to be...I’m still getting comfortable with the growth and learning process.”

Well, that’s pretty fair, isn’t it? Let’s take a logical look at what we want to be, and then we can’t necessarily lie to ourselves and tell ourselves we are better than what we are. We have to be honest and know that we’re not there yet. So we can’t have that title because we don’t deserve it yet. Do we?

What if the belief in the gap itself, created the gap?

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