How To Empower Yourself As A Singer

(Want to read Dot's Latest Idol notes from April 21st? Click Here)

Have you been watching American Idol? Many people are upset about 24-year old Lil Rounds, who obviously has an amazing voice; a thick, rich, deep, full, velvety voice, able to powerhouse when desired. She started off the competition strong, belting out songs like Mary J Blige’s "Be Without You," but from there it just seemed to go downhill for her—according to the judges.

Is it true that lately she has even been wavering in pitch as well as her song choice? Why has she been receiving such harsh criticism for a lady who can obviously sing, but just can’t seem to figure out songs that suit her? Finally, last night, she made a wiser choice, but was it enough to save her?

For over twenty years as a pro singer and Vocal Coach, having gone through my own vocal journey and witnessing many as well, I can honestly say that Lil is no different than most people, whether they are professional artists, or just your average person who likes to sing. Being an empowered singer boils down to one thing: OBJECTIVITY, and most people struggle with this very thing.

In order to understand your own vocal journey, it’s important to look at why people make the choices they do. Before pointing our fingers at Lil, let’s see if we are guilty of making the same mistakes.

For example, notice how you answer any of the following questions:
1. When was the last time you accepted at the heart level, a complement about your voice without trying to downplay it?

2. Can you personally identify what is unique and amazing about your voice and be 100% sure about that?

3. Can you remember the last time you tried to make an excuse about your voice, just before you sang?

4. Do the songs you enjoy singing or writing, bring out the best in your voice?



A trap I see many artists fall into is that of self-indulgence. You ask them, “What kind of music do you like to sing?”

Common response: “EVERYTHING! I like to sing all kinds of music.”


Result for Artists: A lack of success.

Why? Not because they didn’t pigeon-hole themselves into a category—it’s beyond that. The truth is, they really do love every kind of music, but what they don’t realize is what they have to offer as a singer.

For example, a very, very thin person may like to wear many styles of clothing, but generally speaking, not everything is going to look “good” on them. If a thin person were to wear vertical pin-stripes, they tend to accentuate the thin-ness, which could essentially backfire. We would see a very thin person looking even thinner for no good reason, and just ask, “Why?”

On the other hand, if that same person wore big, bulky, baggy clothes, then she’s hiding what she has, and it’s not even clear what might be under all of that bulk. People become suspicious, “What is she trying to hide?” She also loses touch with her own figure over time and forgets that she has access to other choices of clothing.

Why not just get something that fits?

A good fit won’t be obnoxious and screaming for attention, and it won’t be under-rating itself. It will just be WHAT IT IS. We have to know our size in order to know what fits. We must be wiling to look in the mirror and see the naked truth of what we are, because everybody else can see their version of us anyway.

Empowered singers are just being what they are and accepting it, every step of the way.


FIGURING IT ALL OUT...

The good news is “There is NOTHING to figure out... only to realize.”

Most singers tend to think they should be very critical about their voice.

“The only way I can improve is if I can find out what’s wrong with it and fix it!”

When singers “Realize” what they have to offer, and how the actual process by which a voice evolves and gets better, they stop fighting that old losing battle of trying to fix themselves. They begin to recognize that there is no “battle” anymore, except the one that used to go on in their own head.


Empowered Artists who make the fastest growth do the following:

1. Take an honest look at your beliefs about your voice and see if there are limiting ones. If there are, make the choice to change that. Need help? Click Here.

2. Start noticing what is great about your voice. If you don’t know, then do the following:


a) Record yourself when you’re just goofing around singing, not “trying” to sing.

b) Listen with an open heart

c) Notice how it FEELS to sing

d) Ask people whom you trust (except your mother and most family members).

e) Use my Integrative Vocal Empowerment System that will help you experience the great power and qualities of your voice in a deep way. It begins with purchasing my Practicing with CORE Power CD, or studying privately with me by calling 310-497-6193, or over the phone, or online via Skype.

(*Note: If we need to notice what is right about our voice in order to choose the right song to bring out more of those great qualities, then how is picking our voice apart going to help it grow? Picking it apart has the exact opposite effect. It stops our voice from growing and makes us rigid, unsure, cautious and too mechanical. Sound familiar?)


The most empowering thing an artist can do is to know and love their voice.


Believe it or not, in 20 years of teaching hundreds of thousands of people, I have never met a person whose voice did not have something great about it. If you are still struggling with your “inner critic,” then click here to read about How to overcome the Inner Critic.

3. Find songs that allow you to EMBODY your great vocal qualities. For example, if I have a low, rich, full, exciting voice, then I would want to find songs that I could pour my energy into and that suited my exciting personality. I wouldn’t pick a song in a high key that was slow and operatic in nature, because that’s not my personality or gift. As your voice evolves, so do your choices, but start with what you know. This process is something that needs to be explored with each individual artist.

4. When you sing a song, do it with COMMITMENT to what it’s message means to you. (Subtext).

So, this coming week, if you do watch American Idol, let’s see if Lil has finally figured out what makes her great as an artist, and if she picks a song that does this. If she does the four things I listed above, she will remain in the competition. If not, this could very well be her last week on the show.... but life does not end after American Idol! It’s just a show already. Thank goodness we have our entire lives to evolve and realize our greatest gifts that are already within. Keep singing and shining like a Superstar!


To Read Dot’s latest Vocal Advice for Lil Rounds and the Idol Contestants, Login and click HERE

American Idol - Country Week - notes

Every week, I take notes on American Idol Contestants, offer them advice and create videos for them after the show, which I post on my website and on Youtube.

I've decided to include some of my notes on my blog. You can read the rest of my advice to EVERY CONTESTANT since this season has begun, on my website!

Lil Rounds
Says she’ll hold back on the r&b cuz it's country week.
Martina McBride – Independence Day

Randy Travis slowed it down a bit. Interesting tip.
My Reactions – Okay girl, take it away! There we go, by the end of vs 1, you’re telling a story now. Keep telling the story cuz you know you got the voice... so it’s about taking the audience on a journey. How do you feel about what you’re singing? A nice solid full, dedicated last note. You did good my sista. I’m not so thrilled with the song choice though, but hearing you singing it was a treat.

Randy –struggled at the front for him – didn’t feel comfortable for him. Was “all right.”
(Lil – don’t worry about answering him or standing up for yourself. I’m glad you didn’t do “I will Always Love you.” Everybody does that song on Idol.)

Kara – we all know you’re a great singer so it’s about you doing what you felt and that’spart about being an artist – gave you props.

Paula – said vocals were spot on, hair, make up and clothing and the only thing – 1 verse would have went better....

Simon – it came over that she was forced to sing a song somebody requested and felt uncomfortable. I disagree with Simon. Said it just wasn’t you. He’s WRONG and I believe it's a stereotype. It's about how committed you are to each part of the song.

My Advice – they all need to be more patient. It wasn’t about cutting out a verse, it was about your commitment to the part of the song that should build. You kept it a little “even keel”instead of building in intensity as the song went on into the chorus. They wouldn’t have felt that way if you were COMPLETELY PRESENT as you sang, so next time, just stay committed to the song – and yeah you could have picked a better one, but honey, you sold it to me! You always provide excitement and satisfaction when you sing!


Adam Lambert
Johnny Cash

My comments– I like what you’re doing with the song cuz you’re making it yours. Yeah baby. I Loved it. So dramatic. LOL. Dat’s hawt!

Kara – all a little strange – got the drama she loves from him and eyes. Strange but... she liked it. Confused and happy.

Paula – Says you stand out and you are true to who you are as an artist – Although it’s country music week – great choice of song, liked sitar, Not sure if you're a quick study and born natural and raising your own bar each week. (Excellent comments Paula)

Simon – (is gonna rip on it)... yep. He said, “What the hell was that?” Says people are throwing their TV’s out the window. Said it was "indulgent rubbish." Said it was horrific. Not it wasn't!

Randy – Greatest thing about it was CURRENT, YOUNG, FRESH, HOT!

My advice –Yes, Randy and Paula are correct. (never listen to Simon. He just pretends to be an idiot). Sweetie, part of me wants to just see you win already. Because you are a true ARTIST and you know how to use your voice and you know what is unique about it. Just get over the relaxed tongue thing. There are moments when you’re singing that I feel like you’re in a vocalize. I know you’ve had vocal training and that’s fab. When you practice, make your drills.....

Click here to read more.

Is It Really Empowering to Be a Critic?

These Kids on American Idol really have a lot of pressure on them to suddenly take singing, which they love to do so much to a whole new level - A GLOBAL ONE. Not only are many of them learning as they go, but they get to be watched, by millions of people at the same time.

After watching tonight's episode, I just had an even deeper feeling of compassion for all of the singers - even the crazy ones like Nick Mitchell, aka, Norman Gentle (who is actually quite a smart fellow).

I know there are a zillion people out there blogging and vlogging about Idol, making judgements on everything from their voice to what kind of pants they were wearing. There's a part of me that just cringes, because I do feel this can be so destructive in building an nurturing the most humanly divine instrument there is. Our voice is connected to our Mind, Heart and Body, and because of this, it's the most vulnerable thing on earth to sing. Keep in mind too, that the way we judge others always reflects back on ourselves. How do you think and feel about your own voice?

I've been working with singers and teaching since the mid 80's, when I was a kid, and I think I have been in just about every position imaginable - from feeling completely humiliated on stage to feeling like an empowered, connected diva. It's taken me a long time to figure out how to build my own voice and even though I was born with a natural talent, I learned that owning my self esteem played a HUGE role in how effectively I sang. The more I learned how to connect to what I liked about myself, and accept where I was at in that moment, the more I was able to grow. My 6 years of Higher Education and 4 Degrees didn't teach me that. Neither did the 20 plus years of teaching. Actually having to endure and overcome pain, trauma and conflict in my own life did. I know if it were not for the people who reached out in compassion that believed in me, I would not be where I am today.

I mention these things because we all suffer and have to endure pain. And we all know it's how we choose to use the "stuff" we go through, that will make or break us. We can use our experiences to have more compassion and love for others.

How does this become music? Take a look at Danny Gokey. He's the perfect example of channeling his experiences into his vocal expression. Danny's wife just passed away 7 months ago and it left him traumatized. Taking the ENERGY of what he felt, connecting his heart to it and using it to move forward in a positive, passionate way inspired many. That takes courage, will power, and confidence. Through it, we heal. Now he says he's on a mission. I'm excited for him because that boy, along with many of the other contestants, can saaaaang!

Have you ever wondered why you are addicted to American Idol? Or why you're not? Interesting thing to think about - isn't it? Some people can't stand the show - I used to never watch it myself because I couldn't stand the criticism... but now I know I have a way to reach out to the contestants, and I'm so glad about this!

We never know what others have endured in life or what brought them to where they are now. Whether we have a "Hollywood Story" or not, we're all humans, and humans grow from love and respect. Beautiful voices come from a passionate, connected heart. So, my message today is - the next time you watch American Idol, or listen to anyone sing, for that matter, try and hear more of where they're coming from. Listen to their energy and find something you like about it. This will help that person to grow if they are receptive. See how it feels to come from a deeper place from within yourself as you listen, and know that they are opening up themselves on some level. Appreciate that - because some day, it just might be you, and wouldn't you want the same?