How To Empower Yourself As A Singer

(Want to read Dot's Latest Idol notes from April 21st? Click Here)

Have you been watching American Idol? Many people are upset about 24-year old Lil Rounds, who obviously has an amazing voice; a thick, rich, deep, full, velvety voice, able to powerhouse when desired. She started off the competition strong, belting out songs like Mary J Blige’s "Be Without You," but from there it just seemed to go downhill for her—according to the judges.

Is it true that lately she has even been wavering in pitch as well as her song choice? Why has she been receiving such harsh criticism for a lady who can obviously sing, but just can’t seem to figure out songs that suit her? Finally, last night, she made a wiser choice, but was it enough to save her?

For over twenty years as a pro singer and Vocal Coach, having gone through my own vocal journey and witnessing many as well, I can honestly say that Lil is no different than most people, whether they are professional artists, or just your average person who likes to sing. Being an empowered singer boils down to one thing: OBJECTIVITY, and most people struggle with this very thing.

In order to understand your own vocal journey, it’s important to look at why people make the choices they do. Before pointing our fingers at Lil, let’s see if we are guilty of making the same mistakes.

For example, notice how you answer any of the following questions:
1. When was the last time you accepted at the heart level, a complement about your voice without trying to downplay it?

2. Can you personally identify what is unique and amazing about your voice and be 100% sure about that?

3. Can you remember the last time you tried to make an excuse about your voice, just before you sang?

4. Do the songs you enjoy singing or writing, bring out the best in your voice?



A trap I see many artists fall into is that of self-indulgence. You ask them, “What kind of music do you like to sing?”

Common response: “EVERYTHING! I like to sing all kinds of music.”


Result for Artists: A lack of success.

Why? Not because they didn’t pigeon-hole themselves into a category—it’s beyond that. The truth is, they really do love every kind of music, but what they don’t realize is what they have to offer as a singer.

For example, a very, very thin person may like to wear many styles of clothing, but generally speaking, not everything is going to look “good” on them. If a thin person were to wear vertical pin-stripes, they tend to accentuate the thin-ness, which could essentially backfire. We would see a very thin person looking even thinner for no good reason, and just ask, “Why?”

On the other hand, if that same person wore big, bulky, baggy clothes, then she’s hiding what she has, and it’s not even clear what might be under all of that bulk. People become suspicious, “What is she trying to hide?” She also loses touch with her own figure over time and forgets that she has access to other choices of clothing.

Why not just get something that fits?

A good fit won’t be obnoxious and screaming for attention, and it won’t be under-rating itself. It will just be WHAT IT IS. We have to know our size in order to know what fits. We must be wiling to look in the mirror and see the naked truth of what we are, because everybody else can see their version of us anyway.

Empowered singers are just being what they are and accepting it, every step of the way.


FIGURING IT ALL OUT...

The good news is “There is NOTHING to figure out... only to realize.”

Most singers tend to think they should be very critical about their voice.

“The only way I can improve is if I can find out what’s wrong with it and fix it!”

When singers “Realize” what they have to offer, and how the actual process by which a voice evolves and gets better, they stop fighting that old losing battle of trying to fix themselves. They begin to recognize that there is no “battle” anymore, except the one that used to go on in their own head.


Empowered Artists who make the fastest growth do the following:

1. Take an honest look at your beliefs about your voice and see if there are limiting ones. If there are, make the choice to change that. Need help? Click Here.

2. Start noticing what is great about your voice. If you don’t know, then do the following:


a) Record yourself when you’re just goofing around singing, not “trying” to sing.

b) Listen with an open heart

c) Notice how it FEELS to sing

d) Ask people whom you trust (except your mother and most family members).

e) Use my Integrative Vocal Empowerment System that will help you experience the great power and qualities of your voice in a deep way. It begins with purchasing my Practicing with CORE Power CD, or studying privately with me by calling 310-497-6193, or over the phone, or online via Skype.

(*Note: If we need to notice what is right about our voice in order to choose the right song to bring out more of those great qualities, then how is picking our voice apart going to help it grow? Picking it apart has the exact opposite effect. It stops our voice from growing and makes us rigid, unsure, cautious and too mechanical. Sound familiar?)


The most empowering thing an artist can do is to know and love their voice.


Believe it or not, in 20 years of teaching hundreds of thousands of people, I have never met a person whose voice did not have something great about it. If you are still struggling with your “inner critic,” then click here to read about How to overcome the Inner Critic.

3. Find songs that allow you to EMBODY your great vocal qualities. For example, if I have a low, rich, full, exciting voice, then I would want to find songs that I could pour my energy into and that suited my exciting personality. I wouldn’t pick a song in a high key that was slow and operatic in nature, because that’s not my personality or gift. As your voice evolves, so do your choices, but start with what you know. This process is something that needs to be explored with each individual artist.

4. When you sing a song, do it with COMMITMENT to what it’s message means to you. (Subtext).

So, this coming week, if you do watch American Idol, let’s see if Lil has finally figured out what makes her great as an artist, and if she picks a song that does this. If she does the four things I listed above, she will remain in the competition. If not, this could very well be her last week on the show.... but life does not end after American Idol! It’s just a show already. Thank goodness we have our entire lives to evolve and realize our greatest gifts that are already within. Keep singing and shining like a Superstar!


To Read Dot’s latest Vocal Advice for Lil Rounds and the Idol Contestants, Login and click HERE

Is It Really Empowering to Be a Critic?

These Kids on American Idol really have a lot of pressure on them to suddenly take singing, which they love to do so much to a whole new level - A GLOBAL ONE. Not only are many of them learning as they go, but they get to be watched, by millions of people at the same time.

After watching tonight's episode, I just had an even deeper feeling of compassion for all of the singers - even the crazy ones like Nick Mitchell, aka, Norman Gentle (who is actually quite a smart fellow).

I know there are a zillion people out there blogging and vlogging about Idol, making judgements on everything from their voice to what kind of pants they were wearing. There's a part of me that just cringes, because I do feel this can be so destructive in building an nurturing the most humanly divine instrument there is. Our voice is connected to our Mind, Heart and Body, and because of this, it's the most vulnerable thing on earth to sing. Keep in mind too, that the way we judge others always reflects back on ourselves. How do you think and feel about your own voice?

I've been working with singers and teaching since the mid 80's, when I was a kid, and I think I have been in just about every position imaginable - from feeling completely humiliated on stage to feeling like an empowered, connected diva. It's taken me a long time to figure out how to build my own voice and even though I was born with a natural talent, I learned that owning my self esteem played a HUGE role in how effectively I sang. The more I learned how to connect to what I liked about myself, and accept where I was at in that moment, the more I was able to grow. My 6 years of Higher Education and 4 Degrees didn't teach me that. Neither did the 20 plus years of teaching. Actually having to endure and overcome pain, trauma and conflict in my own life did. I know if it were not for the people who reached out in compassion that believed in me, I would not be where I am today.

I mention these things because we all suffer and have to endure pain. And we all know it's how we choose to use the "stuff" we go through, that will make or break us. We can use our experiences to have more compassion and love for others.

How does this become music? Take a look at Danny Gokey. He's the perfect example of channeling his experiences into his vocal expression. Danny's wife just passed away 7 months ago and it left him traumatized. Taking the ENERGY of what he felt, connecting his heart to it and using it to move forward in a positive, passionate way inspired many. That takes courage, will power, and confidence. Through it, we heal. Now he says he's on a mission. I'm excited for him because that boy, along with many of the other contestants, can saaaaang!

Have you ever wondered why you are addicted to American Idol? Or why you're not? Interesting thing to think about - isn't it? Some people can't stand the show - I used to never watch it myself because I couldn't stand the criticism... but now I know I have a way to reach out to the contestants, and I'm so glad about this!

We never know what others have endured in life or what brought them to where they are now. Whether we have a "Hollywood Story" or not, we're all humans, and humans grow from love and respect. Beautiful voices come from a passionate, connected heart. So, my message today is - the next time you watch American Idol, or listen to anyone sing, for that matter, try and hear more of where they're coming from. Listen to their energy and find something you like about it. This will help that person to grow if they are receptive. See how it feels to come from a deeper place from within yourself as you listen, and know that they are opening up themselves on some level. Appreciate that - because some day, it just might be you, and wouldn't you want the same?

Dot Todman shares feelings on American Idol - Episode 5 - 1/27/09

I watched Idol tonight and I agree with Randy that it was just "weird." I'm truly hoping that the show gets better, because I know there are so many talented people out there who deserve a shot at getting discovered, but tonight got a little carried away - did it not? I don't blame any of the contestants.

They had some real talent on there this evening, however, they didn't show the best excerpts in my opinion. I mention Sharon Wilbur, Julissa Veloz, Joshua Ulloa, Jasmine Murray, Anne Marie Boskovich, T.K. Hash, and Michael Perrelli. I have constructive notes for every single contestant who has appeared on American Idol this season, on my website. I wish I could say more but until the show gets into the performance segments, I may hold off blogging about it. This season is going to be quite different than the past. There will be younger mentors and each week won't have themes as before, but top of the chart hits. It will be interesting to see what unfolds. Something I liked about the show in the past, was that it brought at least three generations together. The singers for the young kids, the older, more experienced mentors for the parents. My mom had no interest in the show, but when I told her Barry Manilowe was on, she was all over it!

I began directing choirs in 1984 and first taught a voice student in 1989. I went to school and studied and had to overcome my own vocal challenges. I have learned over this time, that singers are more than just the sound and tone you hear coming out of their mouth. It's the most vulnerable of all arts because singing is connected to your soul. I believe in giving constructive advice, building people, and helping them reach their vocal potential and I have seen many so called "rejects" become professional singers.

We now live in a much different world than when I was a child. With the advancement of the world wide web, there way more opportunities out there for singers to find success. American Idol is a wonderful route for some, but to all those who got discouraged, hold your head up high, believe in yourself and don't give up. I say find your true voice, get the right training and keep singing! If you need support, tools and even a reality check, then visit my website: http://www.dostvoicestudios.com. I'm currently taking submission for my "Dot's Idols Around the World" series. You can submit an mp3 and get constructive advice from me about your song. Learn more by clicking here, and have a fabulous Idol Season!